WTF Car? Awards: Jeep Compass

Posted by The Insider at 11:41 am on Friday January 23, 2009

Winner of the Not Going Down Fighting Award…

We’ve got no sympathy for the captains of Jeep’s sinking ship, seeing as they brought it on themselves.

Like a bunch of spotty interns on the Apprentice, they took one of the world’s finest off-road brands and deconstructed it to the point of embarrassing, eyes-to-the-floor failure.

The guys at Land Rover are probably laughing into their cups of muddy Tetley as we speak.

The Compass is a brilliant symbol of that disintegration, with its useless, part-time, go-nowhere 4×4 system, naff styling and cheapo interior. And the fact that when you follow one, the arches hang over the wheels like a fat girl’s bingo wings.

So congratulations to the guys at Jeep – you’re fired. Or bust. One of the two.

Agree with this? Wade in below. We’ll add up the total number of comments on each of the WTF Car? Award posts to work out the overall winner, so type carefully.

See the other contenders in our WTF Car? Awards gallery

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  1. Svrallo Svrallone said...
    Friday January 23, 2009 at 2:17 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Probably in chrysler they give free laughing gas to engineers.
    “hahaha what about a 5 ton off road that don’t go off road? ahahah imagine the face of the guy in the mud ahahah”
    good old Cherokee where are you?

  2. the austrian guy said...
    Friday January 23, 2009 at 3:51 pm Link to comment Report comment

    it’s not only ugly, it’s also a heap of junk! handling, power, practicality: three things that are almost totally missing in this car…
    and worst of all, it’s an insult to jeep’s history of making great off-road cars.

    my wtf-car of the year!!!

  3. Mikeado said...
    Friday January 23, 2009 at 5:57 pm Link to comment Report comment

    It’s the same as Land Rover making a cheap, lousy rival to the upcoming BMW X1 and then saying “This is us now!” The countryside would be furious. I therefore cannot imagine how the American countryside feels.

    This car – I say ‘car’ – symbolises every I-don’t-wanna-go-off-road -but-wanna-look-good-at-s chool pile of crap in the market, everything wrong with family cars, everything wrong with Chrysler (maybe not Everything), everything, every… everything ever!!

    I think the TG office should buy one as a ‘hate thing’, like the estate agent BMW Mini Jeremy auctioned on telly a few years ago, complete with a free hammer.

  4. RWF said...
    Saturday January 24, 2009 at 2:23 am Link to comment Report comment

    Jeep Compass, hmmm. I will use a compass to get away from this car. What is wrong with these designers? They could at least make it look pretty. A pretty heap of junk!!! Then I would buy it. Then I will burn it with the salesman who sold it to me inside. Just for making me take a test drive.

  5. Robert said...
    Saturday January 24, 2009 at 3:40 am Link to comment Report comment

    One of my friends has one of these and I took a ride in it. I hoped that being a newer american car it would be alright. It wasn’t. The seats were stiff and upholstered in plastic. All of the interior plastics looked like they were cut out with an X-acto knife. The engine was loud and unrefined. There was no space. It looked like it was styled by a drunk chimpanzee. So yeah… not a very good car.

  6. Blockhead said...
    Saturday January 24, 2009 at 3:41 am Link to comment Report comment

    I have seen ugly cars, but this takes the cake. There is so little flow in the design that it might as well have been put together with Lego bricks, and the car looks like its been cobbled together from the parts bin. I haven’t sat in one, but I am sure that the quality and handling (or lack thereof) is similar to other American cars I have experienced. Anyone still wondering why US carmakers are in trouble?

  7. Autofiliac said...
    Saturday January 24, 2009 at 7:20 am Link to comment Report comment

    U brits!! Why do u feel like ur obligated to bash EVERY U.S made car?Is it because your ovn cars are shit?A.M DB9?no:Ferrari 612 scaglietti! A.M Vanquish? no:Ferrari 599 Fiorano!Mid-engine?Noble? A f…ing kit-car?Again Ferrari F 430(scuderia) or Gallardo(superleggera)I`l l give u the McLaren F1,but it`s 15 yrs old,and NOT for the faint of heart!The Aston has a flappypaddle gearbox WHO DOESN`N WORK!!!Ferrari:60 milliseconds,both up AND DOWN!Come on.Evev the (almost) new baby-Aston V8 is a letdown.Nice sound,but that is all it`s got to offer.And good look,but as a contender to the 911?Come on… You have a medioker carindustri.Topps!

  8. Ed said...
    Saturday January 24, 2009 at 11:58 am Link to comment Report comment

    It might work in time or place where nobody ever have seen a car but in our world with all the beautiful/elegant designs out there, what the f**k these designers were thinking?

  9. Fing! said...
    Saturday January 24, 2009 at 1:51 pm Link to comment Report comment

    I’m dying to know how this car made it to production and who the individuals are that approved the design every step of the way? Was it money or deadlines and if so, what was it MEANT to look like? Please tell me this wasn’t where it was destined? What were they thinking? When I first saw this car I thought that I was missing something. Clearly Jeep have missed everything!

  10. Biodun said...
    Saturday January 24, 2009 at 3:14 pm Link to comment Report comment

    I totally agree.. especially in Nigeria.. Owners always feel like they have a very relible offroader.. Happy someone else sees things my way!

  11. RWF said...
    Saturday January 24, 2009 at 9:46 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Autofiliac what the hell are you saying?

  12. Pickup said...
    Sunday January 25, 2009 at 12:33 am Link to comment Report comment

    Jeep, wouldn’t feel sorry for them… they deserve what they got

  13. Hamzah said...
    Sunday January 25, 2009 at 3:26 am Link to comment Report comment

    Jeep USED to be my favorite brand. They still make good off-roaders like the Wrangler. They even make a good sporty SUV, the SRT8. So as a fan of Jeep, when i saw this, I died a little.

  14. Jeep5599 said...
    Sunday January 25, 2009 at 5:15 am Link to comment Report comment

    I think Jeep should only have the Wrangler Grand Cherokee and the Commander those three are one of the 3 best 4×4 suv out there i think Jeep needs to put some effort in to designing nice looking suv and crossover

  15. Screen Name said...
    Sunday January 25, 2009 at 6:39 am Link to comment Report comment

    Jeep was the only good part of Christler when Benz flogged it to Cerberus, now its just one more extremely large and unattractive piece of baggage on a sinking ship.

  16. Anonymous said...
    Sunday January 25, 2009 at 11:32 am Link to comment Report comment

    GOD SAVE THE QUEEN

  17. Mikeado said...
    Sunday January 25, 2009 at 4:47 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Autofiliac, you win the wtf for worst, most irrelevant comment.

    Not only was it incoherant, you kept mentioning Italian cars when flaming the British and defending America, you mentioned the Vanquish, which is dead, you were wrong about the AM’s semi-auto, as in the DB9 it was the first GOOD flappy paddled ‘box, and obviously you didn’t watch episode 2 of the newest series, where TG decided that there are at least three fantastic American cars. However, it is generally accepted that European and Japanese cars are much better built, better handling, usually better looking and more efficient in every way than American cars. Why do you think the big 3 are in so much shit? Hmm??

  18. Lloydy said...
    Sunday January 25, 2009 at 7:19 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Autofiliac – F**K OFF to american topgear for a start, and maybe try going back to your inferior american education system and learning how to write. The aston martin V8 Vantage is the 2nd best road car i have ever been in, and the only thing that tops it is a race prepared sierra cossie sapphire with 600hp. my freinds dad has one, and oh, lets compare your equivelant, the corvette? give it a few months and the plastic interior falls off, and i forgot that everyone LOVES cheap fibreglass…YUCK.

    i was actually going to talk about the fact that the original jeeps in the pre1960s were amazing, my dad has a WW2 Willis, and taht rocks. But you will never beat a Defender mk1-3.

    Try making proper suspension and steering right in your motorsport, britain is the car and racing car king. 87% of the motorsport industry is in britain, enough said you fat sunnova.

    and im sorry everyone its just abseloute IDIOTS like him should be banned from the internet… ;)

  19. Lloydy said...
    Sunday January 25, 2009 at 7:21 pm Link to comment Report comment

    and im english not british, and yes there is a difference you imbecile

  20. Panda abarth said...
    Sunday January 25, 2009 at 7:25 pm Link to comment Report comment

    “Hey Bill, we forgot the indicators”
    “well lets make some new ones”
    “Hold on there Bill how about we get some indiactors of another car?”
    “well what car Bob?”
    “A car with utter class and style….the rover metro”
    “god i love you Bill” *sheds a tear*

  21. american idol said...
    Sunday January 25, 2009 at 7:30 pm Link to comment Report comment

    mikeado is right, autofiliac needs to concentrate just a weeeee bit more :D American cars are simply inferior in every aspect of the automotive sense of the word be it design, finish, technology, the list is endless. ..bling in the best of cases but being american I guess they would have to be designed for hicks,cowboys&girls and rappers. The real american appeal died in´74 and so the cookie crumbles, move on..
    aston might have it´s flaws but I´d take one over anything else any day. The new ferraris all look as though they were modelled after a duck´s beek,the bimmers, porsches, audis and mercs are simply too dull or just plain ugly, japanese cars never came into consideration and what else is there ? lambos yell bling,maseratis are for girls and all you have left are kitcars, rolls and aston.. I´d have one of each :D

  22. Rayz said...
    Sunday January 25, 2009 at 8:27 pm Link to comment Report comment

    So they call it the Jeep Compass eh???

    I would much prefer if someone went off and bought Jeep’s cracked team of clowns a compass each so they can find their way back to REALITY!!

    Then they would see their creation is CRAP!!
    Next!

  23. Tom Servo said...
    Sunday January 25, 2009 at 9:12 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Your “deep in the heart of American car territory” representative checking in here.

    I’ve never seen a Compass on the road. Even Americans seem to be ashamed of it. I could see this as a way to get some extra SUV cash back when SUVs were the in-thing to have here, but now? A perfect example of how slow and inefficient the American automakers can be.

  24. cobra said...
    Monday January 26, 2009 at 6:21 pm Link to comment Report comment

    blah blah blah is all ive read on here, Autofiliac has made a goo poit about us brits slating yank motors but i dont c how all you people can slate the Compass, do your research, its a patriot with a different shell! ok not as good looking, but the same chassis, engine and components! wake up! you cant call 1 green 4×4 of the year n hail it as 1 of the best n yet take near enough exactly the same car n slate it! wakey wakey!!

  25. american idol said...
    Monday January 26, 2009 at 7:40 pm Link to comment Report comment

    glad you like it, I don´t ..aaand I´m not alone.. btw the last time jeep made anything that was good off road WAS the willis.. shame

  26. fruit and nut said...
    Tuesday January 27, 2009 at 12:57 pm Link to comment Report comment

    what about the alfa meat head oh sorry mito

    my god that car is hideous

    also why replace the stunning gt with a hatchback a spider front end with a tweaked gt rear would have looked a lot better than the brera

  27. Johnny said...
    Tuesday January 27, 2009 at 3:54 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Jeep Compass: A huge step in the wrong direction!

  28. Djdrift said...
    Tuesday January 27, 2009 at 5:04 pm Link to comment Report comment

    it’s realy awefull were they out of there minds? very very hideous .I like the cherokee style at JEEP.

  29. Autofiliac said...
    Tuesday January 27, 2009 at 5:36 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Lloydy: I saw on another one of these pages that ur 16! And your stupid ass goes on and on about cars.U claim that the worlds 2nd best car is the baby Aston,as the best is,hold on,A SIERRA COSSIE! U STUPID F..K! How many cars have u owned,or driven for that matter? I guess u still do wheelies on ur scooter to imress the 14 yrs old girls in ur “hood” HA HA HA:) you are a laugh!And thats all u are!

  30. The Carman. said...
    Tuesday January 27, 2009 at 8:04 pm Link to comment Report comment

    I cant see it without going blind by it’s crapness…

  31. Car Whisperer said...
    Tuesday January 27, 2009 at 8:06 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Its crying in pain. I feel it’s sadness for being so bad at it’s job.

  32. Him said...
    Tuesday January 27, 2009 at 8:09 pm Link to comment Report comment

    This car makes “Hammond” look good!!

  33. Bullfighter said...
    Wednesday January 28, 2009 at 6:12 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Ah, hell, I’m a Yank, have owned a Grand Cherokee and first gen Liberty and I can’t even defend the Compass. Usually the cheap plastic bits in a Jeep are something you overlook because it can scale cliffs. This one could caught on a speed bump and need a tow.

  34. spdracer said...
    Wednesday January 28, 2009 at 6:49 pm Link to comment Report comment

    It is the very thing Jeep isn’t. It appears as if they took a 4 wheel drive truck and slamming it into the ground…what good it is it for now?

  35. California Stig said...
    Wednesday January 28, 2009 at 6:56 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Even Capt. Slow would complain about the anemic performance of this blob.

  36. Ashamed American said...
    Wednesday January 28, 2009 at 7:32 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Is it any wonder we had to bail this company out, then they took out a 300,000 dollar add with my money thanking me for unwillingly giving it to them. GM and 5star can rot in Hell, Ford is the only company worth saving here.

  37. California Jeeper said...
    Wednesday January 28, 2009 at 7:36 pm Link to comment Report comment

    I own two Jeeps – a 1989 Grand Wagoneer and a 2000 Cherokee Classic. Both of these are very old body styles, with the Wagoneer designed back in the early 60s by Willys-Overland and the Cherokee by AMC in the 70s. Jeep hasn’t had a decent design since then that wasn’t just a rehash of the CJ. They even got the proportions wrong on the Commander, which was supposed to be a rehash of the original Wagoneer. It’s so sad.

  38. Henrik said...
    Wednesday January 28, 2009 at 10:18 pm Link to comment Report comment

    I don’t think this could bee the real model, it has to be a mule covered with some strange plastic shields.

  39. AbCat said...
    Wednesday January 28, 2009 at 10:58 pm Link to comment Report comment

    It couldn’t pull a sitting hen off it’s nest.

    It couldn’t climb a pile of leaves.

    It couldn’t outrun continental drift.

    It could help bring auto giant Chrysler to its knees though, so it’s not all bad.

  40. August said...
    Wednesday January 28, 2009 at 11:11 pm Link to comment Report comment

    I had a Jeep Patriot as a rental car last summer (which is basically the same thing) and it was the worst automobile I have ever sat in. It was cheaply made and EXTREMELY SLOW. It also had a bunch of sharp edges all over the place.

    I think this is, by far, the worst vehicle ever made.

    What was the point?

  41. Shawn said...
    Thursday January 29, 2009 at 5:20 am Link to comment Report comment

    Worst Jeep ever! The front end looks like an accident at the nuclear plant.

  42. Kadette said...
    Thursday January 29, 2009 at 4:09 pm Link to comment Report comment

    No point to the jeep, infact I don’t like any of the WTF cars

  43. Kadette said...
    Thursday January 29, 2009 at 4:10 pm Link to comment Report comment

    If I’m honest

  44. Den M Jacket said...
    Thursday January 29, 2009 at 9:41 pm Link to comment Report comment

    My old Cherokee would be crying in its grave now. It is an absolute insult to the marque. It must win the WTF award.

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